How I work
The foundation of how I work with individuals, couples and parents is grounded in theory and practice drawn from several methods of psychotherapy I’ve studied over the last 17 years. These include body-centred psychotherapy (Biodynamics, Biosynthesis), hypnotherapy (NLP, Ericksonian hypnosis) and solution-focussed psychotherapy (Brief therapy, narrative therapy).
Within this broad perspective, I see mental, emotional and physical well-being as being expressed through a person’s ability to adapt with ease to internal and external change. Out of this I have developed a holistic, experiential and relational way of working with individuals, couples and parents.
Below I describe in more detail some of the core concepts I use in the therapy work work I will do with you.
How imprinting helps relationships
A key understanding from body-centred psychotherapy is the notion of imprinting. When someone touches you, not only can you remember the event, but that part of your body which was touched retains the sensorial memory of the event as well. Equally, if you were not touched when you needed to be, your body can recall this event because being touched is a necessary experience for human growth. All these sensorial memories are linked to the relationship in which they were experienced.
When this relationship experience is negative, the sensorial memory sets up a pattern for negative relationship behaviour. I support you to bring these sensorial memories into awareness to break their automated hold on your behaviour and begin the process of consciously forming relationship patterns that are supportive, loving and enriching to your life.
Another important insight from the body-centred approach is the notion of auto-regulation. After a period of activity or stress, we need to rest and during this resting phase the body is able to eliminate accumulated toxins. Toxins can be physical like adrenaline, but they can also be emotional like anger, or mental like ruminating thoughts. This capacity to eliminate old pain ensures our readiness to adapt to new situations later on.
When I work with you, I support you in developing and maintaining this innate capacity to rest and eliminate toxins on all these levels. Crucial to this process is a relationship in which you feel secure enough to rest, relax and let go without feeling you are being judged. I help you become aware of how your body responds to the relationship we may have at any given moment. Therefore there are moments in the therapy work when I invite you to be active and involved and other moments when I invite you to rest and observe what is happening.
Working in the Present
I focus on how your present life is being affected by your past experiences and on how we can work together to move in the direction you wish for yourself in the future. While I do not ignore your past history, this means the therapy work is dynamic and present focussed. I invite you to share your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and imaginings as they emerge in the present within the working relationship we create together. The benefits of this are you are able to learn and integrate new experiences as they happen and thereby develop resources for the future relationships.
Both for both singles, couples and parents, I give feedback based on my observations on how you are relating with myself and on how we are working together. I encourage people to try out new ways of communicating and relating in the therapy room. The power of this process is that you experience new ways of being and relating rather than just talking about them.
No matter how much relationship pain you are experiencing right now, you have developed a startling array of resources throughout your life. States of urgency tends to cut people off from their skills and sources of personal knowledge. Drawing on the insights from hypnotherapy and Ericksonian hypnosis in particular, each person has potentially all the resources they need to resolve the relationship pain they are facing. So I will be working with you to identify, develop and activate skill sets already within your reach which will help you move away from relationship pain more quickly.
The problem is the problem
When people seek out help with their relationship pain, they are often saturated with the problem because of its intensity or because it has dragged on for so long. People can come to believe they themselves are the source of the problem.
So drawing on the narrative approach, I work to help you stand back and see the problem for what it is, as something separate from yourself. Then it becomes possible to act on the problem and move towards a solution.
The solution-focussed approach is based on the idea that solving problems and developing solutions are not the same thing. Many people first try to understand why they have a relationship problem. They believe that if they truly understand the pain, a solution will emerge. But paradoxically the more attention you give to the relationship pain, the more painful it becomes. And as it becomes more painful, people try harder to understand why the pain is there in the first place. Thus creating a negative vicious circle.
In developing solutions, I work with singles, couples and parents to turn their attention to what is already working, to what is already improving in their relationships, no matter how insignificant it might first appear. Taking the step to go to therapy already contains solutions at work in relationships that are worth exploring and celebrating together.
Becoming aware you are already generating solutions is very empowering. This allows you to become more active in the process of moving the relationship in a more positive direction for yourself and your partner.
Recent psychotherapy research demonstrates the critical importance of the relationship between the person and their therapist to successful therapy outcomes above and beyond any particular method, technique or approach.
So one of the most important factors for a positive outcome in psychotherapy is a strong and secure connection with your psychotherapist. Because of my relationship focus, I believe this is one of the most powerful aspects of my practice and a rich source of healing for the people who work with me. And when you work with me, you have a voice in how we work together and what you need for a successful outcome.
Are you ready to move out of relationship pain?
If so, contact me today at +33.(0)126.96.36.199.91 or email me to set up a FREE confidential 10 minute phone consultation with myself.